


and a happy new year

by TheQueenInTheNorth



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, New Years, alien traditions, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenInTheNorth/pseuds/TheQueenInTheNorth
Summary: There are many traditions surrounding the turn of the year. Some years are better than others.
Relationships: Kasius & Sinara (Marvel) & Original Character(s), Kasius (Marvel) & Original Character(s), Kasius/Sinara (Marvel), Sinara (Marvel) & Original Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9
Collections: Agents of SHIELD Secret Santa 2020





	and a happy new year

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sanctuaria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanctuaria/gifts).



Kasius watched the flame flickering between his hands, focusing on the little dancing light and blocking out everything else as well as he could manage.

He knew all eyes were fixed on him, Father’s hand on his shoulder a foreign weight that he both wanted to shrug off and yet not step away from. There was safety in his father’s shadow, in a way. He was not noticed in his shadow.

It was different that day. Everyone was staring their way, more so at Kasius and the lantern clasped in his hands. He was holding it tight enough that his hands weren’t shaking, at least.

He hadn’t made the lantern. A proper crafter had made it, so it might be fit for the empress consort. The one Kasius had made, small and quite ungainly, was hidden away under his bed. It would not do for the public’s eye. It would not do for Father’s or Faulnak’s, either. Mother would have found something nice to say about it but she couldn’t anymore. It was her lantern, after all. There would be no lanter if she could still say things.

Kasius blinked against the tears threatening to spill over; they would not bring any release from the cold weight in his chest. Father had been wroth when Akedus had cried at Grandfather’s ceremony and Akedus was only a cousin, and the youngest besides.

The music reached a crescendo and Father’s hand slid off his shoulder to press between his shoulder blades. The touch was so gentle, it took Kasius a moment to realise he was pushing him to move. He had been supposed to await his cue but it was possible he had missed it, lost in fighting down the tears.

He looked up at Father and he nodded, barely a tilt of his chin, and Kasius walked down the stairs to the river, the whole empire watching as the second born prince waded into the icy water.

Years later, Kasius would wonder if it had been meant as a kindness, as an acknowledgement of his grief that he had been sent and not Faulnak.

In that moment, though, all he felt was cold and afraid as the water lapped at his knees, then his waist, then his chest. He said the words he was meant to say, the ones Krenyk had practiced with him, and then set the lantern down carefully.

“Goodbye, Mama,”he whispered and released the lantern to be carried down the river, the flame flickering, soon joined by others, by thousands and thousands of lights.

He stood for a few moments more, wondering if the river might carry him away, too, or if it knew to take only the souls of those already gone.

In the end, he tore himself away before he could lose sight of which light was Mother’s and made his way back up the stairs, the soaked clothes nearly as heavy as his heart.

Grandmother wrapped a cape around his shaking shoulders and Father did not scold her for babying him, the way he was wont to do for both his mother and Kasius’.

_Of course I am. He is my baby,_ Mother had always returned.

“Well done,”Grandmother said, her hand on his shoulder a welcome weight. Almost a small comfort.

He usually enjoyed the turn of the year celebrations but this time he was nothing but glad when he was finally allowed to slip away and into bed. There was no one there to tuck him in the way he liked. He’d have to get used to that in the new year.

Uncle Kaznaq had closed the door all the way; he hadn’t had the heart to tell him that wasn’t right when he’d been trying so hard to make him smile all day. He’d pulled the covers too tight, too, before he’d left him alone in the dark.

Now the only smidge of light in the room was the thin sliver of moon peaking in between his curtains. He was still staring at it much later when something hit the window.

Another something clattered onto the windowsill. By the third, he was out of bed and inching his way to the window, half-tempted to shout for the guards.

A burglar or murderer wouldn’t draw such attention to themselves, though, and he didn’t want a scolding for being scared if it was only one of Faulnak’s pranks.

“Who’s there?”he hissed into the night after opening the window a fraction.

“Who do you think?”Clio hissed back.

Kasius leaned out of the window and there she was, bundled up all in black with most of her hair hidden under a hat, a single golden strand escaped and catching the moonlight.

Kasius leaned a little further.“What do you want?”

“Let’s put your lantern in the river,”she replied, in that tone that suggested he was being purposefully obtuse.

He didn’t question how she’d guessed he’d made one. She’d known him since they were babes at their wetnurse’s breast; there was no one who knew him better.

This time, when he placed the lantern in the water with no one to witness but his milk sister and the moon, he did cry, but he felt closer to his mother all the same.

* * *

Sinara frowned at the branches, trying to decide which one she wanted. She had a good hand picking them; they always bloomed. Vita and Mik were watching her intently, waiting for her to choose, only to then scramble to get whichever bough was closest to hers.

As eldest of the three, the little ones always thought she’d hung the moon. If she had, she’d have given Nux another one, like she heard Hala had. But even though the moon was none of her doing, she was still always right about the branches.

“This one,”she finally declared and gently held it so her da could cut it loose.

The babies picked their own and they carried them home, placing them into the little vases Ma had ready with their names on.

“How many days?”Mik wanted to know.

“Thirteen, you stupid,”Vita said.“There’s always thirteen.”

“He’s too small to remember,”Sinara said.

“Am not.” Mikal crossed his arms and glared at her.“I’m big.”

“Are not.” Sinara stuck her tongue out at him, and then corrected Vita too, just to be fair.“They have twelve days to bloom. You can’t count today as a day when it’s almost over.”

Mik grinned.“See? You’re the stupid.”

“But you’re still the baby,”Vita said.“And anyways, there’s thirteen days, just not for the blossoms. Ask better questions if you want clearer answers.”

Sinara nodded sagely, not finding fault in her sister’s argument. She turned her vase a little bit, so it could get more light from the window.“Da, come cut the stem a little more.”

Da chuckled but did as she asked, ruffling her hair when he returned her branch to her hands so she could put it back in the vase herself.“Think it’ll bloom?”

“Yeah.” She puffed out her chest proudly.“They always bloom. I’m best at picking.”

“It’s because you’re our stroke of luck,”Ma said and tapped her finger against Sinara’s nose.

She scrunched up her nose and whacked at Ma’s hand, just to make a point. She wasn’t a baby anymore. Only babies giggled when they got poked.

And she wasn’t a baby because she got to stay up a little more when Mik and Vita got sent off to bed. Sinara was allowed to sit on Ma’s lap and hold the ball of wool for her, as long as she liked - or at least until she kept dozing off and knocking Ma in the face with her head.

Da picked her up to bring her to bed and she didn’t have to ask him to stop by the windowsill so she could tell her branch goodnight and remind it to bloom.

“They always bloom,”she told her da as he tucked her in and kissed her forehead.

He smiled at her.“They always do.”

She didn’t know about the collection of twigs her parents had hidden away, just in case one of theirs didn’t actually bloom by the turn of the year, a precaution to stop the children being upset over the alleged doom that spelled for the new year according to superstition.

They had never needed to change Sinara’s, she really had a lucky hand with them.

That year, she didn’t.

That year, her twig remained barren and Kel-Ra exchanged it when the kids followed his wife to the market. He wasn’t much one to believe in omens but months later, he would wonder.

It was the first year Sinara’s twig didn’t bloom.

It was the last turn of the year she spent with her family.

* * *

The woods were cold and dark but they weren’t scary. Well, they were a little bit scary, but Kasius wasn’t scared.

Uncle Kaznaq was there, and Uncle Kaznaq was carrying an axe. Nothing could get Kasius, even if something wanted to; his uncle wouldn't let it.

He’d even come and got him when Faulnak had tried to leave him in the woods one time. On accident, Faulnak said, but Kasius didn’t believe him.

“Can I cut it down?”he asked. He was in charge of picking out the tree but Uncle Kaznaq was always the one to cut it down. Kasius wasn’t so little anymore, though, and Faulnak had been cutting his own logs for ages.

Even if his burned longer, Faulnak always said it didn’t count since it was Uncle Kaznaq who’d done the cutting.

Uncle Kaznaq gave him a long, pondering look and then offered him the axe. Just when Kasius reached for it, Uncle Kaznaq pulled it back.“Promise you won’t hit my leg?”

“Promise,”Kasius said and rolled his eyes.“I need you to carry it back, don’t I?”

“A convincing argument,”Uncle Kaznaq said and handed him the axe.

It was heavier than Kasius had expected and the chopping went much slower than when his uncle did it, but they’d brought flasks of warm, honey-sweetened milk, so he didn’t mind taking a few breaks in between.

His hands had blisters by the time he was done but he’d never been prouder of one of his logs. Even Father clapped him on the shoulder when he brought it back.

Mother would’ve told him how big he was getting and fretted over his hands. Grandmother just told him to go have the court physician sort him out, but she pinched his cheek as she sent him on his way, and that was good, too.

* * *

Sinara had yet to settle in the new barracks properly. The other recruits were avoiding her so much she was almost sure her altercation with Tyan had made it through the grapevine.

Being ignored was better than being taunted and pushed, though, so she didn’t really mind. It meant they couldn’t rub the presents they’d gotten into her face either, and that made it easier to pretend the changing of the years was not upon them. Luckily, no one had invited her to cut twigs with them. It was a stupid tradition for stupid babies.

Having her peace was nice. Lonely was much nicer than lonely and mocked. If she’d known she’d get send somewhere nicer, she wouldn’t have put up with the recruits in the old barracks so long.

The old barracks weren’t very far away so she even had gotten to keep Commandant Ukena. She was strict and a little bit mean but she was so to all of the recruits, even the highborn ones, so Sinara liked her the very best out of all the superior officers.

It didn’t stop her from getting nervous when the commandant stopped next to her table, where she was eating lunch all by herself.

No one would sit near her, not in stabbing range and not any closer than they had to either way. Sinara didn’t see why they were so worried. Tyan had gotten too mean once too often. As long as they kept their mouths shut about her family - or lack thereof - it wasn’t like she’d attack them. She hadn’t liked the sound it had made when her fork had gone into his eye, not one bit. His artificial replacement was better than the real one, though, because he had a family name.

It was her luck he hadn’t wanted to tell his enraged uncle that it had been a little girl who’d done it. A training mishap was the better explanation for all concerned; Ukena had said so, too.

“Sinara,”Ukena said now.

Sinara snapped to attention.“Good day, Commandant.”

“At ease.” Ukena wasn’t scowling and that was as close to smiling as Sinara had ever seen her.“You’re from Nux, aren’t you, Sinara?”

Sinara nodded slowly, wiping her suddenly sweaty palms on her trousers covertly. Ukena had never been derisive about her birth. She’d never even brought it up, except to say it was remarkable that she hadn’t been trained from a younger age and still did so well.

“I thought so,”Ukena said and pulled something from her bag.“A fruitful and happy new year, Sinara.”

She set down her offering and left before Sinara could thank her.

For a moment, Sinara was frozen in awe, then she snatched the fruit and held it close to her chest. She hadn’t had a fresh fruit in far too long. Father had cut that one in slices, and she’d let Mik have the last one, even though he’d had his share already. She shook that thought off quickly. That was another life. A girl with a family, a girl with a home, a girl with people to love.

She had none of that now but she had the firm, golden fruit, and the small bubble of joy in her chest that someone had thought of her.

Maybe the new year would be kinder, afterall.

* * *

Kasius hated most of his training but he absolutely adored hunting, especially the ceremonial hunt during the turn of the year celebrations.

He was good with a bow and had a keen eye for tracking, and both those things meant he was better than Faulnak at something that, for once, even Father agreed had value.

He had liked the hunt even better when Uncle Kaznaq had still been around to go with him but he’d been gone long enough it didn’t sting terribly anymore, and Kasius had to admit he was excited to get to lead his own group of hunters for the first time.

There were two guards handpicked by Krenyk who were there more to make sure he was safe than anything else but the rest of the group was around his age. Clio hadn’t joined, not as delighted with the hunts as she was with the pelts brought back, but her cousin Dhaena had, and that was almost as good.

She was his friend, too, and even more practically: Ryles was trying to make an impression on her so he was sure to keep his peace about having to follow Kasius’ command, even though Ryles was older by two years.

Not that anything but misplaced pride would have caused him to complain. Kasius’ leadership was sound, and they all knew it, especially without Faulnak there to make them act otherwise.

At the end of the day, their haul was quite impressive, if Kasius said so himself.

Ryles’ attempts at flirtation kept Kasius from chatting to Dhaena on their way back so he turned to one of the young soldiers, a new addition to the palace guard.

“What’s your name?”he asked her.

She’d kept up all day long but her hands were so tightly clamped around the reins that her knuckles went white. He did not think she was all too comfortable with her steed.

“Azale,”she said, then shot him a look and quickly added,“Your Highness.”

He smiled at her, though it did not seem to put her anymore at ease.“Is it your first hunt?”

“First one of this caliber, anyway,”she returned.

That was no wonder. That she’d offered no family name meant she had none, or at least none of note, so she couldn’t possibly have attended anything even somewhat akin to the Royal Hunt.

“Did you enjoy it?”

She hesitated for a second, measuring him up with one look and then apparently deciding something about him, because she said,“I’d enjoy eating the game more, I think, Your Highness.”

Perhaps that ought to make him take offense. Instead it made him laugh.

“You can join us at the feast, of course,”he said, taking care to make the offer sound casual as could be.

The hunting parties each had their own banquet tables at the feast, inviting their respective friends along, but it was not really done to invite the soldiers along, even though they were part of the party, of course.

_It would be unseemly,_ Grandmother had said one year when he’d asked after the guards that had joined them on the hunt but not for the meal.

_You wouldn’t invite your bow to eat,_ Faulnak scoffed, and Kasius could tell he really thought he’d hit the nail on the head with that statement.

But Krenyk was a soldier, too, and of much lower birth than Kasius, and he’d much rather have him for a father than his own.

“If you’d like,”he added, when Azale remained silent for a little too long.

She gave a sharp nod and mumbled something he did not catch.

He almost didn’t expect her to take him up on the offer but when the time of the feast did roll around, he spotted her lurking at the edge of the circle of tables, a little too nicely dressed to be on guard duty.

Kasius waved her to them and Clio scooted over to make room for her without question and only a curious glance to him. A curiosity she would soon turn to Azale instead.

* * *

Sinara pulled the fur tighter around her shoulders, not for the sake of warmth but to give her hands something to do and keep them from shaking.

She still wasn’t entirely sure how Darillion had talked her into this - nor how he had managed to secure her leave from the base, for that matter.

Darillion always made her wonder, from the day he’d first sat down at her table with a smile and decided to be her friend. She was still baffled he had managed to win her over and she hadn’t managed to put him off the idea.

She was almost regretting it now that it meant she was going to join his family for part of the turn of the year celebrations. What he found exciting, she found daunting at best.

He’d repeatedly told her to just not worry about it. That was easier said than done.

While the taunts over her low birth were slowly fading in the face of her accomplishments, they were still far too fresh in her mind. She couldn’t imagine all of Dar’s family being as nice as him and as willing to overlook her lack of name or breeding.

The paint on her face was itching something fierce, too. Back home they’d made paper masks for the occasion.

For the rich, this apparently would not do. She didn’t know what Dar had told his mother but she had sent two costumes, hers silver, Dar’s golden.

“Stop wrinkling your nose,”Darillion said, nudging his shoulder against hers gently.

She nudged him back.“So I won’t get lines?”

“That, too.” He grinned at her.“Mostly so your make-up won’t crack, though. You look so pretty right now, don’t ruin it.”

She shot him a faux glare.“Because I need this to be pretty?”

“Masks the scowling, anyway.” He slung his arm around her shoulder.“Don’t worry, they’ll love you.”

Sinara just scoffed at that but didn’t shrug his arm off.

Darillion was far too nice for his own good half the time; she could suffer through his family’s derisive looks to make him happy. And because there would be food beyond her wildest imagination, from what he had off-handedly told her.

He had neglected to mention the dancing but it wasn’t so bad, some of the steps were just the same as back on Nux, and his sister showed her all the rest. _You dance so well,_ she told her, and blushed, and somehow, Sinara did, too, barely getting out, _So do you_.

By the end of the night, she was almost sorry it was over, stumbling her way back into the barracks exhausted but happy.

She stopped a few steps from her bunk, blinking at the girl occupying the bottom bunk. She’d had the whole bed blessedly to herself for weeks now.

“What’re you looking at?”the girl asked.

“Could ask you the same thing,”Sinara said. The girl was staring quite rudely.

She shrugged.“You’ve got paint on you. Doesn’t that itch?”

“So bad.” She scratched at her cheek, now that Dar wasn’t there to tell her off.“I’m Sinara.”

“Azale,”the girl returned and gave her a smile.

* * *

“You’re moping,”Kasius said.

His tone had been gentle but it did not stop Clio from giving him a withering glare.“I am not.”

“You very much are, darling.” Kasius sighed and set the collection of poetry he’d been leafing through aside.“You can say you’re upset.”

Clio’s glare didn’t waver but the slight wobble to her lower lip gave her away.

“Do you want me to ask Krenyk -”

“I don’t want to make Mother any more upset than she already is,”Clio cut him off.“We both know it won’t be me she takes it out on.”

Kasius couldn’t argue with that assessment. Moirha had certain expectations of her children and sneaking off to the gardens to kiss a lowborn palace guard in training was not one of them.

That she’d only had Azale sent away to a base on another planet was as close to kindness as Clio could have hoped for. Not that he was foolish or cruel enough to point that out. Moirha’s brand of kindness was not unlike Garron’s.

“Do you want to skip the readings?”he asked instead.“We could steal some cidre from the kitchens and just stay in. Maybe some cakes, too, when we’re at it.”

Her glare melted away, replaced by a smile that was only the tiniest bit shaky.“You really would skip it, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,”Kasius said, and opened his arms just in time for her to barrel into his chest.

He stroked her hair as she clung to him and it was a testament to just how upset she was that she didn’t chide him for messing up her hair.

Eventually, she stepped back and wiped at her cheeks.“Let’s get going, then. I can’t wait to see Canavan taken down a peck or two.”

She was convinced Canavan had told. Kasius wasn’t so sure but bringing up that Dhaena had known, too, would do nothing but upset Clio further.

Besides, Canavan really was atrocious at the fast-paced exchange of gibes, and kept to the poetic metre even less than Faulnak managed.

It really was quite entertaining to watch him flounder.

“Maybe fix your face first?”he suggested.

“Only if you fix yours.”

Kasius cocked his head to the side.“I wasn’t crying, so I’m not the one with khol all over my face.”

“No, but that mug of yours always needs fixing.”

“Please, we both know you’d kill for my cheekbones.” He picked up his book again, mostly to pretend to be absorbed in it, so she could have a moment to collect herself in peace.“Jealousy is a bad look on you, Clio.”

She scoffed and turned to the vanity.“Everything’s a good look on me.”

* * *

Sinara wasn’t terribly good with emotions. That was always left up to Darillion as much as possible. Sinara was the one closer to Azale, though, and it wouldn’t have seemed right to make him go talk to her because she was uncomfortable.

Even less since it would have meant asking Darillion to interrupt his visit to his family. He would, once they told him, but he didn’t need to know yet.

“Scoot,”Sinara said, then sat down on the edge of the bed anyway when Aza didn’t. She put a hand on her shoulder; that was ignored, too, but at least not shrugged off.“I’m sorry, Aza.”

She still didn’t look at Sinara, remaining curled up and facing the wall.

They stayed like that, unmoving and unspeaking, until Azale sniffled and Sinara couldn’t take it anymore.

She laid down and wrapped her arms around Aza. Just because she was no good with words didn’t mean there wasn’t something she could do. Cuddles might not heal everything but they certainly don’t make things worse, her granny had always said. It was ridiculous that it had stuck with her even after all these years, perhaps, but it wasn’t untrue.

“What’re you doing?”Azale asked, words distorted by a hiccup.

“Hugging you,”Sinara said.“Thought that was obvious, you stupid.”

Azale chuckled and sniffed.“Aren’t you s’posed to be nice to me right now?”

“This is me being nice.”

She pulled her a little closer and made sure not to lie on Aza’s hair.

Azale pushed her fingers between Sinara’s, and they just laid there like that. Sinara was pretty sure Darillion would say something, something sappy and clever, probably, but she didn’t know what to say.

Eventually, she settled on,“D’you wanna make a lantern for her?”

Just because she didn’t particularly look forward to the turn of the year celebrations didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate some of the customs, or see the value they held to other people.

Aza didn’t respond at first, her thumb drawing patterns on Sinara’s hand.

“That would be good, I think,”she said.“Can we stay here a little longer, though?”

“Sure,”Sinara said.

She wasn’t doing so terribly at comfort after all, it seemed. She hesitated only for a second before pressing a kiss to Aza’s temple for good measure.

* * *

Kasius followed the red string, winding it around his hand as he went. He hadn’t expected to have festivities to participate in this year, with Father sending him off to this outpost to get some practice in leading troops, but the base had given time off to most of the soldiers.

He suspected it was only due to his family name that he had gotten all thirteen days of leave but he had accepted it happily. He missed sleeping in.

Then, of course, he had found out about the nearby town having their celebrations open to everyone who wished to attend, and now here he was.

He’d managed to lose his entourage of sycophants somewhere along the way. He’d rather be alone than have them stuck to his coattails all the while; they only made him miss his friends back home even more.

Ria was probably already wrapped in half a dozen colours at least. She loved none of the games quite so well as this one. Kasius pushed the thoughts of home away. It wouldn’t do to sour his mood.

The string was more taut now. He was almost at whatever little treasure it would lead him to. There was a small whittled figurine in one of his pockets and a flask of stumphole booze in another. He’d hopefully find someone to share it with later, preferably someone who wouldn’t fawn over him for being a prince.

That was a consideration for another time, though, because he suddenly reached the end of the string. Or, well, the part of the string another player had reached.

“Hello,”Kasius said, a smile spreading across his face. Perhaps he’d been wrong and now was exactly the time to make a new friend.“I’m Kasius.”

“I know,”she said and rolled her eyes.

A better reaction than he could’ve wished for. Eye rolling was much preferable to groveling.

“And what’s your name?”he asked.

“Sinara.” She frowned at the string wrapped around her fingers.“I thought Dar was kidding about some of these being duds.”

“I’m not sure duds is quite the right word, Sinara.” Her name rolled off his tongue nicely. Her sharp cheekbones and golden eyes were even nicer.“I think a kiss is traditional in this case.”

“Well,”she said, stepping closer, one hand on his chest, a twinkle in her eyes,“I’m not much one for tradition.”

With that, she stuffed her coil of the string into his pocket and left him standing there as she disappeared into the dark. Somehow, he couldn’t stop grinning like a fool.

* * *

“He’s,”Azale started, then broke off with a scowl. She took a swig from her flask and then said,“He’s not so bad for a noble. Or at least he wasn't then.”

“Careful, Aza, that’s almost exuberant, coming from you,”Darillion teased.

Sinara just kept watching the flames dance, sorely regretting she had admitted running into the prince during the game. But how couldn’t she, when Azale had told them what she’d told them?

She probably could have kept that bit about him joking about kisses to herself, and certainly that bit about how she’d almost kissed him. Definitely the bit about how she still wanted to.

He just was awfully good looking, as Dar hadn’t stopped pointing out since the first rumours of him coming to their base had started spreading.

Azale smacked Darillion upside the head and nudged Sinara’s boot with her own.“I’m just saying, you never know when you’ll get the chance to mack on a noble again.”

“You just think it’ll be funny when he turns me down,”Sinara grumbled. He’d probably asked around about her family name by now; he’d been glancing her way enough that she wasn’t kidding herself about any of that.

“I think it’ll be funny when his lickspittlers realise they’ve been barking up the wrong tree,”Azale corrected.“Besides, no one stares so much just to tell you to take a hike.”

“If you don’t go kiss him, I’ll go try,”Darillion said.

That threat did the trick. He would, too.

She glared at her friends as she got up, covertly wiping her sweaty palms on her jacket as she made her way over to the prince.

“Hey,”she said, pretending not to notice the heat rising in her cheeks at the way his face lit up.“I think I owe you a kiss?”

“Actually,”Kasius said, smile only becoming brighter, his gaze dipping to her lips,“you owed me a kiss days ago. Do they collect interest?”

“I’ll get back to you on that,”Sinara said and pulled him in for a kiss.

His lips were soft, his hands settled on her hips to pull her closer, and she found the scandalised gasps and murmurs easy to ignore as she melted against him. Not so bad for a noble, indeed.

She broke the kiss eventually but Kasius didn’t let her step back very far. His voice was slightly breathless as he prompted,“So?”

“They collect interest.” She leaned in for another kiss.“I’m no good at math though so you’ll have to figure out how many I owe you.”

“Happy to,”he assured her and kissed her again.

She’d meant it for a laugh; she’d meant it for that evening and the turn of the year celebrations.

Kasius had somehow taken it as an invitation to woo her - his choice of word, certainly not hers, since she’d had to ask Dar what it meant - and she was happy to let him.

He was fun to talk to and didn’t take it too personally when she chuckled at his poetry. All in all, she thought she deserved a nice distraction from things after so many years in service to the empire, even if it was bound to end whenever Kasius got bored or left.

In the end, he never ended up getting bored.

He did end up leaving, of course, but Sinara left with him.

* * *

The melancholy of exile was not easy to shake, even though Kasius fullwell knew that this was the best outcome he could have hoped for. Compared to certain death, it was certainly far preferable.

Knowing this did little to ease the guilt of having doomed Sinara to such a life right along with him. If he’d been just a little less selfish and stayed away from her she would never have been sent to that battlefield, would never have had to kill their way out of that suicide mission Father had set for him.

She’d likely be a general in her own right by now, if he’d never thrown her life off track the way he had. He’d be dead, of course, but perhaps she’d be happier for it. That thought stung, more so than the wound his general had dealt him before Sinara had put an end to him.

He didn’t know how he could even begin to apologise, so he never even brought the matter up. He was trying to give her what space he could to work through the resentment she must hold for him. It wasn’t working terribly well; he sought her out before long every time.

Even when he was trying not to be too obvious, she always noticed him. Like now, when she kicked her sparring partner’s legs out from under him and turned to look up at the gallery before he had even hit the floor.

She cocked her head to the side and he gave her an abashed smile in return. She didn’t look annoyed but maybe that was hope playing tricks on him.

Exile was much worse for her than for him. He had his books, he had his experiments and his greenhouse, and Sinara was here. In some ways, it was almost an improvement on life in the capital. In many others it wasn’t but there was no use in dwelling on that.

He signalled for Sinara to meet him outside the training facility; that she had caught him staring had forced his hand and he was glad for it.

He’d been going back and forth on this for days, wondering if it was too childish, too out of place in this exile of theirs. It was the last day for him to bring it up, though, and she smiled at him when he met her by the door.

“I have a surprise,”he said.“Well, not a surprise, really. I want to show you something.”

He let the way in silence, nerves slowly getting the better of him. His hand was resting on her lower back as they walked without her stepping away from his touch and he took comfort from that. There was hope she’d forgive him their exile yet.

They reached their destination and Sinara shot him a bewildered look.“I’ve seen your greenhouse, Kas.”

“I’m not showing you the greenhouse, my darling.” He guided her a little further into the room, stopping by his newest project.“What do you think?”

She frowned but quickly wiped that off her face.“It’s a tree.”

There was a question in her tone.

“A winter bloomer,”Kasius explained. He was fairly certain the tradition was present everywhere.“I thought we could cut some twigs? See what the next year holds for us.”

It was a silly superstition, of course, but seeing the twigs bloom on new year’s day always made him feel good about starting the fresh year.

All you had to do to make sure your twig flowered was to freeze it for a few hours before you set it in water, since the trees themselves froze in winter. He suspected that was just what his mother had done once he’d gone to sleep as a child because he’d never ended the year without those lovely pink petals.

He was about to pick up the shears when he realised Sinara had yet to respond.

She was staring at the tree and if he hadn’t known better, he’d have said she was on the verge of tears. He’d only ever seen her cry once and - well, best not to dwell on that occasion. His fingers pressed against his side regardless.

“Sinara?”he prompted gently.

“That’s stupid,”she snapped and stormed out of the greenhouse.

Kasius stared at the door long after it had closed; eventually he snapped a twig off the tree without paying much attention. He didn’t bother freezing it before he set it in a vase.

Sinara was right. It was silly to expect anything good from the new year when he had so thoroughly ruined her life and with it any chance at happiness he’d had.

* * *

Sinara liked to think herself above moping but there was no other word for what she had been doing these past few days.

Kasius had been swaying between wildly standoffish and unusually clingy even for his standards since they had been exiled and it wasn’t hard to guess why: She had doomed him to exile, after all.

The alternative would have been death, by the time they had reached that battlefield. There was no telling if he’d have ever been sent there if Garron hadn't caught wind of his son dallying with a commoner. The emperor had no love for his second born, she knew that, but she had been, perhaps, the final nail in the coffin.

The suggestion of that stupid turn of the year tradition had been meant as a peaceoffering, surely. A way of saying that now that they were exiled, they might as well make the most of it until they found a way to get out of it. That the new year held brighter things.

A silly, little indulgence in superstition. Child’s play.

Sinara had not engaged in it since that last year she’d spent with a family she could hardly remember these days.

It had been stupid to overreact to that suggestion; it had been downright cruel to just leave him standing there without explanation. She wouldn’t have gotten the words out if she had tried. She wasn’t sure what the words even were, and she wasn’t prepared to let him see her cry over a fucking tree.

It was bad enough she’d wept like a baby when they’d escaped the battlefield. He’d been bleeding so much, just the memory made her blood run cold. If he had died…

She shook her head, angry at herself. He was perfectly fine, except for his dampened spirits. She should have just gone along with the ritual.

If he wanted to pretend the coming new year would be a sweeter one, he was welcome to do so. Her silly hang ups about a half-remembered childhood should not get in the way of that.

But then, it was not the new year yet.

There were still plenty of traditions left. She’d made her peace with most of them through the years, even enjoyed a few. It had been just her bad luck that Kasius had picked that one.

Gathering her resolve, she went to his office before she could change her mind.

Library would be more appropriate for the room in her opinion but according to Kasius four bookshelves barely qualified for an office, so that’s what he called it. Foolish man that he was.

She stepped into the room without knocking and he looked at her with such earnest surprise she instantly faltered. He looked relieved. Wasn’t she the one supposed to be relieved once she’d asked him for forgiveness? Not that she had meant to, not in so many words.

He was up from his desk and across the room before she could sort her confusion out.“Sinara! Did you find some free time? I’ve missed you.”

She hadn’t been busy. He knew she hadn’t been busy and he knew she knew that he knew. He was very clearly offering her an out on her ridiculous behaviour.

She said the words so fast and jumbled, she couldn’t even be sure what she’d said herself.

Kasius blinked at her, a soft smile on his face nonetheless.“What was that, my darling?”

“Do you want to bake with me?”she tried again.“It’s - well, on Nux, we’d bake for the new year.”

“Oh! Yes, of course!”

He was beaming at her now and she couldn’t help but smile back, warmth flooding her chest. His smiles always did that to her. She’d mind more if it wasn’t so nice.

“Mother never let us bake, she said it’s not appropriate for royals,”he said, chuckling as brushing a kiss to her cheek.“I’m fairly certain she just didn’t know how and was too stubborn to admit it.”

“So that’s where you got that,”she teased and leaned in for a proper kiss.

The servitors almost managed to hide their confusion when they ordered them out of the kitchen; they probably should have kept them around long enough to show them where everything was but rooting around the cupboards was part of the fun, really. It reminded her of raiding the kitchens with Dar and Aza, back in the day.

“What are you still looking for?”Sinara asked.

Kasius was half-kneeling on the counter, rummaging in the highest cupboard, his shirt riding up. He didn’t look in danger of falling so there was really no reason to mention the nearby footstool.

“There must be biscuit cutters around here somewhere,”he said.

They’d only ever baked bread in her childhood, at most with pieces of fruit in it when they’d wanted something sweet.

She didn’t have much of a sweet tooth but was willingly to try whatever recipes Kasius had already downloaded to his datapad on their way to the kitchens.

After all, Kasius was much sweeter than she’d ever thought she’d like, too, and she liked him fine. A little more than she ought to, truly.

* * *

With them confined to the Lighthouse as they were, there was of course no river, nor people to place lanterns in it. Instead, Kasius had taken to turning his chambers into a sea of lights, dotted all around the room.

There was just something to watch the flickering flames that put him at ease; that Sinara liked candles so well only had endeared them to him more. She’d rolled her eyes at him when he’d waited for her to return from whipping their newest inhumans into shape before he’d lit the last of the candles, the scented ones, but it had been that fond exasperation that always came with a smile - and she’d happily picked which scents she liked, sitting on the floor in his robe, damp hair unruly, and picking over the assortment of candles as if they were the finest of treasures.

Seeing her so relaxed was wonderful after the uncertain tensions hanging over them since they’d been exiled. It truly seemed she’d forgiven him for dooming her to this bleak rock.

He had yet to actually apologise. There was a cold weight in his stomach still, even as they lay sprawled on the plush carpet, not having made it to the bedroom because they hadn’t wanted to extinguish the candles quite yet; the soft, yellow glow was reminiscent of Sinara’s beautiful eyes.

He rolled onto his side to tell her just that, and instead found himself saying,“I really am sorry, you know.”

Sinara turned to face him, tilting her head in silent question.

“For all of it,”Kasius said.

Her frown only deepend, a hint of hurt in her eyes.

He reached for her, brushing his fingers against her cheek.“You shouldn’t have been exiled on my behalf.”

For a moment, his words did nothing to dispel her confusion. Then she started laughing.“You’re sorry for us being exiled? I thought you were upset with me for getting us sent here.”

That made no sense.

“You saved our lives,”Kasius pointed out.

She leaned into the hand he still had by her cheek.“So you’re not upset?”

“Not with you. This exile isn’t what I’d chosen for us.” He kissed her forehead, the weight of his worries finally lifting.“We’ll find a better one in time. I promise.”

“I don’t mind so much,”Sinara said. She turned her head just enough to kiss the inside of his wrist.“I’ve been in far worse places with far worse company.”

Kasius chuckled.“Are you getting sappy on me?”

“Says the guy who lit about a thousand candles.”

“A few dozen at most.” He pulled her into his arms and settled back down properly.“So long as you like it, my darling.”

She snuggled closer.“I love it.”

Perhaps exile truly wasn’t so bad. Nothing could really be bad, not so long as Sinara was with him.

“And I love you,”he said.

They both froze.

He’d said it before but only when she’d been asleep, or so very nearly that she could feign not having heard. The apology was already on his lips when Sinara relaxed against his chest. She’d let the confession pass by without comment, apparently. His relief was only slightly tinged with sadness. Getting to start this new year with her was enough; he could be fine with being the only one to say the words. She’d say them when she was ready.

Or maybe she never would, and maybe that was alright, too.

Getting to hold her and love her and be with her was enough, Kasius thought, as he drew patterns on her skin and watched the flickering patterns the candles painted across the ceiling.

He was very nearly asleep by the time she spoke, voice barely a whisper.“I love you, too.”

* * *

Sinara stepped out of the dressing room, slightly lifting her arms so the sleeves spread out, a questioning tilt to her head.

The Lady Basha and her entourage would be arriving shortly; her home’s customs weren’t so terribly different from Hala’s so of course Kasius had to put on an extravagant feast.

Sinara hadn’t dressed up for the turn of the year celebrations since Darillion had taken her along to the ones his family had thrown and even then, her costume had been nothing like this.

She was vaguely aware of the mythical creatures her dress was meant to emulate, half-woman, half-bird. The dress was dark purple with wide sleeves to mimic wings and a plunging neckline almost to her bellybutton, the mesh of pearls covering that portion cool against her skin.

She felt quite ridiculous right until Kasius looked at her. Suddenly, she couldn’t feel anything but beautiful. The way his face lit up at the sight of her always did that, silly as it was.

“You’re gorgeous,”Kasius said, stepping forward to take her hand and kiss it.

Sinara wanted to scoff but found herself smiling instead.“So are you.”

“That’s sweet of you to say,”Kasius replied but his smile wavered slightly.

“What’s wrong?”Sinara asked.

Kasius gestured at his shirt as if it ought to be obvious. She couldn’t find anything wrong with the intricate design running in spirals over his body, no matter how much she searched for a missing gemstone.

Finally, she met his eyes again and repeated,“What’s wrong?”

“It’s not tailored quite right.” Kasius pinched the cloth between his fingers to show off the inch of excess fabric.“Basha will make a mockery of me.” He sighed dejectedly.“I know it doesn’t truly matter what she thinks but I was looking forward to tonight, I’d hate for her attitude to ruin it.”

“That’s all?” Sinara pinched the fabric herself, rubbing it between her fingers to test the thickness. The pattern was small and repeated; it could easily be lined up just right if need be.“I can sew you into it. It’ll fit like a second skin.”

Kasius gaped at her as if she’d suggested using magic.“You can sew?”

“If I couldn't, this would be a shit offer,”Sinara quipped.

The army had taught her a thing or two that was actually useful, at least.

* * *

Sinara still wasn’t entirely happy that Kasius had somehow wrung an ennoblement for her out of his father; she had to concede that it made sense for her to be rewarded for her part in avenging Faulnak’s death. Kasius had spun a very believable story, and killing Ponarian had been a perk of the ruse. She’d always found his derision insufferable.

She did quite like that the title of viscountess had gotten her a hunting party of her own for the annual festivities. It was the first social event she truly enjoyed since their arrival on Hala a few weeks prior - though there were things to be said for chuckling into her wine while Clio and Kasius exchanged fast-paced gibes and snide remarks about anyone and anything.

She’d have warmed to Clio even if she hadn’t heard about her all those years ago but Azale’s stories had endeared her to her quicker, in truth. Once she would manage to catch up with Azale she was determined to repay her all her mockeries about just how soft Kasius was in kind and more. Clio wouldn’t even join the hunt.

She did quite happily join the feast to enjoy the spoils of their labour. Teasing her for that was a good distraction from the far too extravagant dress Sinara had to wear. The wardrobe was perhaps the worst part of life at court but she did take far too much joy at the glares she got when Kasius coordinated their clothing to match.

A viscountess was technically a good enough match for the crown prince. Not that they’d discussed that, but Kasius definitely knew she was aware, and not opposed.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,”a familiar voice said behind her as she watched Clio and Kasius dance. They never seemed to tire. She didn’t see why they’d rather dance than eat but they were a joy to watch.

She turned, gaping at Darillion.

“Surprise,”he said simply and she threw her arms around him.

“How?”she wanted to know.

“Heard you were at court now. Pulled some strings to get sent here.” He cupped her face in his hands, beaming.“You’ll have to pull strings for me from now on, since you outrank me.”

“Then prepare for groveling,”she quipped, then hugged him again.

It was good to have another ally at court.

It was wonderful to have her friend back.

And he did have a very good point about her ability to pull strings now…

* * *

“You’re being very pushy, even for you,”Clio accused but Kasius just shoved her forward once again.

“You follow that string now,”he said.“If you don’t like the gift you find at the end, you can complain then.”

Clio frowned at him but began wrapping the string around her hand anyway.“You’re not supposed to know what the strings lead to.”

“And you’re not supposed to backtalk your future king and yet here we are.” He waved a dismissive hand at her solely because he knew it would annoy her.“Off you go now, my dear.”

“I’m only going so I can come back and kick your ass,”Clio muttered, and off she went.

Kasius watched her go with a grin.“What do you want to bet we won’t see either of them before tomorrow?”

“That’s not even a question.” Sinara bumped her shoulder against his, a smirk on her face.“What do you want to bet Aza will _actually_ kick your ass if Clio let’s it slip you called her ‘the gift’?”

“Not a question, either.” He turned to face her, wrapping his arms around her waist.“You wouldn’t let her.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,”she said with a roll of her eyes.

He brushed a kiss against her lips.“I’m lucky you think so.”

* * *

“Why are there so many logs again?”Sinara asked.

It was the middle of winter and they were outside at night, she should not be sitting there without a jacket. And yet the abundance of burning logs had hardly left her another choice.

“It’s a game,”Darillion explained, unscrewing his flask and generously spiking all their glasses. The punch going around was quite weak, really.“To see which one burns longest.”

Sinara refrained from pointing out that that was an awful waste of firewood, meeting Aza’s gaze across Clio’s head, glad to know at least one of her friends was thinking along the same lines as her.

Wealth did strange things to people but there were worse things than this. It was quite cosy, in a strange way.

“At least they’re cute,”Azale mouthed at her from the other side of the picnic blanket, then dropped her head atop Clio’s to watch the flames and the dancers moving between them.

Sinara couldn’t argue with that, turning her attention to Kasius.“How are you still cold?”

“It’s winter,”he said, tugging her towards him with a grin.“Warm me up?”

“Just use a blanket,”she said, but settled into his arms anyway.

* * *

Kasius watched the flame flickering between his hands, focusing on the little dancing light and pushing down the urge to smile.

His father had been the one to set Faulnak’s lantern in the river but now it was his turn to do the same with Garron’s.

The water was icy, as it had been all those years ago when he’d set his mother’s soul free on that river, but it did not reach near as high and grief was the furthest thing from his mind.

Grandmother waited by the stairs again, a strange sort of deja-vu with her once a kindly yet imposing figure, and now so very small.

Her hand was tugged into the crook of Sinara’s elbow and a renewed wave of love washed over him at the sight of his wife absently patting his grandmother’s hand.

He did feel some level of guilt at robbing his grandmother of her last living child but he had given her a granddaughter-in-law to adore, and now without the threat of Garron and his violent brand of expressing his displeasure looming over them, perhaps a great-grandchild or two in the not so distant future.

He stepped out of the river, barely noticing the weight of his soaked clothes. He was looking forward to the fireworks.

“Well done,”Sinara whispered.

He’d put on a good show of grieving, then.

* * *

“If you eat any more dough, we won’t actually have any cookies,”Kasius pointed out sternly.

Sinara hadn’t expected him to master the strict parent voice but he had, rather impressively so. That it was directed at Azale was besides the point.

She hesitated with the piece of dough halfway to her mouth, then ate it anyway.“It’s fine like this.”

“It’s unhealthy,”Kasius argued.“And we want to decorate them later. _And_ you know Kazzie likes copying you.”

“Bo,”Kazzie said around a mouthful of raw dough, beaming up at his parents’ exasperated faces so happily they couldn't even scold him.

“You little snitch,”Azale said fondly, ruffling Kaznaq’s hair.

Sinara picked him up before he could get his hands on any more of the cookie dough.“Let’s bake bread, sweetie, okay? Do you want bread?”

“Wead,”Kazzie said.

Sinara kissed his forehead.“Close enough.”

* * *

Sinara chuckled and snuggled closer against Kasius’ side. They always made a whole day of this, with a picnic and far too many blankets.

Amarina and Kaznaq were trailing their cousin with attentive eyes, jostling each other when either of them got too close to Ven.

When Kasius had first brought up the idea of finding her family, she had dismissed it outright. Now it was hard to imagine a turn of the year celebration without visits from her siblings and mother.

Eldest of the three, Ven was somewhat hero worshipped by his cousins.

“I can’t believe we were that tiny,”Mik said, then got up to lift his nephews and niece in turn to cut the twigs they’d chosen.

Vita took a long sip of her tea.“I can’t believe Ven always gets it right.”

“The trick is freezing them,”Kasius said.“Just for an hour. I do it right after they go to sleep. Have I not mentioned that?”

Sinara shot him a look that clearly answered that, even though she had of course known.

“We just used to cut extras, just in case,”Maera said, and only laughed at her daughters’ incredulous stares.

They didn’t have long to recover from that revelation, the kids running up to show off their chosen twigs.

As Kasius ooh and aahed over them, Sinara just smiled, basking in the moment.

Whether the twigs only bloomed because of Kasius’ intervention or not, it didn’t matter. The new year would be good. 


End file.
